Journal #17: Chapter 17

In this chapter, I found return of humanity among the men. After the SS men and other comrades had evacuated the camp, the men who were left behind suddenly cooperated to survive. They found food, stove, and wood and use them in order to sustain their lives longer. But WHY? Why did they start working together after the SS men left the camp? Why didn’t they cooperate before?

Despite what they had found in the camp, the condition was getting worse. Many of them suffered from pneumonia and diarrhea and felt really weak. It is very impressive how Primo Levi depicted death in Auschwitz.

"Their weakest comrades and those who were most serious ill died one by one in solitude” (169).

"He heard me, struggled to sit up, then fell dangling, head downwards over the edge towards me, with his chest and arms stiff and his eyes white. The man in the bunk below automatically stretched up his arms to support the body and then realized that he was dead. He slowly with drew from under the weight and the body slid to the ground where it remained. Nobody knew his name” (169).

"With the last gasp of life, he had thrown himself to the ground: I heard the thud of his knees, of his hips, of his shoulders, of his head … We certainly could not carry him out during the night. There was nothing for it but to go back to sleep again … On the floor, the shameful wreck of skin and bones, the Somogyi thing. There are more urgent tasks: we cannot wash ourselves, so that we dare not touch him until we have cooked and eaten. The living are more demanding; the dead can wait” (172).

Primo Levi described the death in a very solemn and neutral tone. The dead were not important in Auschwitz. They were no value. The living always comes first. But how lonely the dead would have been… I felt extreme sorrow and pity, even guilt, for the dead. I can’t even imagine how frightened they have been, breathing their last breath, alone in the dark. According to Primo Levi, they “died one by one in solitude” while “nobody know their names” and were left behind because the dead “could wait.”

How do I want to die? Obviously, I do not want to end my life as the men in Auschwitz did. I don’t want to die alone in the dark, where nobody would care about me. One of the people whom I know once told me that “Life is full of sorrow; a human being is a solitary existence.” Now I understand her statement. Even though we are surrounded by others most of times, we are all lonely souls at the end. We want to love and to be loved. Fighting against loneliness and searching for humanity were great struggles for the men in Auschwitz. And they are still struggles for us who are living 60 years after the unforgettable, unforgivable tragedy.

Memorable Quotes:
“It was exactly like that; for the first time since the day of my arrest I found myself free, without armed guards, without wire fences between myself and home” (167-168).

“An old Hungarian had been surprised there by death. He lay there like hunger personified…” (168).

“Because one loses the habit of hoping in the Lager, and even of believing in one’s own reason. In the Lager it is useless to think, because events happen for the most part in an unforeseeable manner; and it is harmful, because it keeps alive a sensitivity which is a source of pain, and which some providential natural law dulls when suffering passes a certain limit” (171).

“Like joy, fear and pain itself, even expectancy can be tiring” (171).

“We lay in a world of death and phantoms. The last trace of civilization had vanished around and inside us” (171).

“It is man who kills, man who created or suffers injustice; it is no longer man who, having lost all restraint, shares his bed with a corpse” (171).

Journal #16: Chapter 16

During the group discussion session, my group members tried to put ourselves into the Last One’s shoes. We asked ourselves, “would we be able to do what the man did?” Some of us said “yes” and the others said “no.” Those who answered “yes” said that no men could really live in Auschwitz and there would be nothing to be afraid of. Therefore, they wouldn’t fear death. But I was one of the people who said “no.” I understand that life in Auschwitz was not the same as life we were living now. However, I don’t think I would be brave enough to resist against the SS men and to die in front of other men. The Last One was a brave man; he stood for what he believed and was not afraid of punishment. He fought against the German SS men when most of men obediently followed the order.

Bravery. What is bravery? I think bravery is standing for what one truly believes and being responsible one’s actions regardless consequences. A brave person should be able to express his or her own thoughts and beliefs without being afraid of any threats. Primo Levi called Auschwitz “the house of the dead.” In Auschwitz, people lost their mind and soul. They were just slaves who ate, worked, and slept. Think was luxury for them! However, the Last One was different. He fought against the SS men until his death. He did what he considered to be right. And I think he should be respected for that.

A brave man is a man of integrity. However, I often feel sad because I think it is getting harder and harder to find people of integrity in our society. Many people, especially teenagers, tend to follow the crowd and not to find out who they are truly. We worry about how others would see us and think of us, so we sometimes conceal our thoughts and emotions. Are we brave? I don't think so. Ironically, however, we all want to be heroes among people even if we are not qualified. We should ask ourselves this question: are we brave enough that we would stand for what we believe to be right even if our lives are in danger?

Memorable Quotes:
“He is to die today before our very eyes: and perhaps the Germans do not understand that this solitary death, this man’s death which has been reserved for him, will bring him glory, not infamy” (149).

“To destroy a man is difficult, almost as difficult as to create one; it has not been easy, nor quick, but you Germans have succeeded. Here we are, docile under your gaze; from our side you have nothing more to fear; no acts of violence, no words of defiance, not even a look of judgment” (150).

“Alberto and I went back to the hut, and we could not look each other in the face. That man must have been tough, he must have been made of another metal than us if this condition of ours, which has broken us, could not bend him” (150).

Journal #15: Chapter 15

Primo Levi is chosen as one of the three workers who can work in the Laboratory. His new work site is warm and clean. His work is much easier than before and he no longer suffers from the cold winter.

Auschwitz was a place where people’s lives were determined by luck. If I were lucky, then I would have been able to survive. But if I were unlucky, then I would have been probably sent to a gas chamber. The motif of luck frequently appears in the book. For example, Primo Levi was lucky enough that he wasn’t sent to a gas chamber right after he arrived at Auschwitz. Once again, he was lucky that he earned an opportunity to work as a specialist, a chemist. Later on, as it is written in this chapter, he works in a warm laboratory. However, some people were unlucky that they were chosen to die in gas chambers during the selection in October, 1944. Likewise, in Auschwitz, people’s destinies were often determined by luck. Even if the men did the same thing, let’s say, forbidden exchange of possession, some were caught and punished while some were not.

However, Auschwitz was not the only place where people’s lives were determined by luck. The world we now live in is also an unfair place. Although it is not as vicious as Auschwitz was, but it isn’t still fair for everybody. A lot of times, bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. Also, the result of work is not always directly proportional to the amount of efforts that was put into.

I’ve faced the unfairness of the world several times. Every time I sense it, I become depressed because I used to believe that people will be able to get what they strive for if they wholeheartedly want it and if they work for it really hard. But whenever I see the unfairness, I think that maybe my understanding of the world is not the right statement.

However, on the other corner of my heart, I still believe that nothing is impossible (or maybe, I want to believe that nothing is impossible). I still hope that if I really try hard, then I will be able to overcome the unfairness of the world. Therefore, in order to deny the unfairness, I often tell myself that my efforts were not good enough and that I must try harder and harder, so my destiny wouldn’t be determined by luck as it was in Auschwitz.


Memorable Quotes:
“Many comrades congratulate us; Alberto first of all, with genuine joy, without a shadow of envy. Alberto holds nothing against my fortune, he is really very pleased, both because of our friendship and because he will also gain from it” (138).

“We know what we look like: we see each other and sometimes we happen to see our reflection in a clean window” (142).

Journal #14: Chapter 14

“Strange, how in some way one always has the impression of being fortunate, how some chance happening, perhaps infinitesimal, stops us crossing the threshold of despair and allows us to live” (131).

People always look for the slightest hope even in the most dreadful situation. For example, even though it was raining for more than ten days, Primo Levi thought that it was lucky that it was not windy. He was in such an unpleasant place, but he still looked for something that cheered him up. I think it is good to have hope even in very bad situation because hope gives strength to live. Hope enables people to go through hardships and allows them to live.

In the beginning of the chapter 14, Primo Levi wrote that “to have a dry rag would be positive happiness” (131). A dry rag… We don’t really think a dry rag as valuable. Since we have comfortable life, a dry rag is nothing more than a piece of old cloth for us. However, for Primo Levi, who had been wet for several days, a dry rag would as valuable as gold. Unlike us, he would actually prefer to have a dry rag than a piece of gold. When we are in a difficult situation, even a smallest thing that we used to ignore may seem like a treasure, because a lot times, our standard of value depends on our environment or situation.

Memorable Quotes:
“Strange, how in some way one always has the impression of being fortunate, how some chance happening, perhaps infinitesimal, stops us crossing the threshold of despair and allows us to live” (131).

“… until one day there will be no more sense in saying: tomorrow” (133).

Journal #13: Chapter 13

One Sunday of October, 1944, there was a selection in Auschwitz. It was surprisingly fast. “In three or four minutes a hut of two hundred men is ‘done’, as is the whole camp of twelve thousand men in the course of the afternoon” (128). The men had to run a few steps in front of the SS man, who decided everyone’s fate right away.

“The SS man, in the fraction of a second between two successive crossings, with a glance at one’s back and front, judges everyone’s fate, and in turn gives the card to the man on his right or his left, and this is the life or death of each of us” (128).

When I picture the scene of selection that day, it is terrifying. There are hundreds of thin, naked and shaved men, waiting for the judgment between life and death. The process may seem simple and quick but it is immoral and inhumane. How can a random person decide another person’s fate by observing him for a few seconds? How can he judge another person without “knowing” him? What right does the random person have to do so?

Even today, we tend to judge people and categorize them. We don’t actually know who they are, but we unconsciously, or sometimes consciously, judge others. The problem is that we still make the judgment even if we do not know them. We may know them by name or appearance, but a lot of times, we do not know their personality and their thoughts. In fact, we don’t often even attempt to learn about others. For our convenience, we like categorizing people and treat them according to our biased judgment. But our judgment is usually incorrect. In some ways, we are similar to the SS men in the selection, because we sometimes judge others by a quick glance. Others’ fate is decided in our own mind. However, we should remember that we do not have any right to make judgment on other people.

Memorable Quotes:
“Just as our hunger is not that feeling of missing a meal, so our way of being cold has need of a new word. We say ‘hunger,’ we say ‘tiredness’, ‘fear’, ‘pain’, we say’ winter’ and they are different things. They are free words, created and used by free men who lived in comfort and suffering in their homes” (123).

“Does Kuhn not understand that what has happened today is an abomination, which no propitiatory prayer, no pardon, no expiation by the guilty, which nothing at all in the power of man can ever clean again?” (130).

Journal #12: Chapter 12

In class discussion, my group talked about how life in Auschwitz was not true “living” and how the workers were no longer “men.” I also think that living in Auschwitz was not actually “living” as a human being. Rather than that, the workers were more like slaves or robots that obeyed their masters and followed every direction. They neither had joy nor excitement in Auschwitz. They almost had no emotions. They took everything passively and did not show desire to live. It was mostly the SS men’s fault that the workers did not have life because even their existence made the workers exhausted. However, I think it was also the workers’ fault to some extent that they let themselves lose their identity. If they tried very hard, they might not have been turned into wild beasts. If they concentrated on living as a man, then they might have been able to maintain their dignity. They were overwhelmed by the depressing atmosphere and allowed themselves to be nobody. But I believe that they should have tried harder.

Even though I questioned why God allowed this tragedy to happen, I still believe that the workers should have relied on God. According to the book, faith was not a part of the workers’ life. Many Christians blamed God and turned against Him; they stopped praying, talking to God, and believing in Him. Instead of relying on God, they denied their faith. As I wrote in another journal, there is always purpose in every event. God must have had plans for the people in Auschwitz. But the people did not allow intimate relationship with God. It always comes back to the very basic idea: that we [people] are impatient and all sinners.

Memorable Quotes:
“At bottom, we all had a certain read of changes: ‘When things change, they change for the worse’ was one of the proverbs of the camp. More generally, experience had shown us many times the vanity of every conjecture: why worry oneself trying to read into the future when no action, no word of ours could have the minimum influence?” (116).

“For living men, the units of time always have a value, which increases in ratio to the strength of the internal resources of the person living through them; but for us, hours, days, months spilled out sluggishly from the future into the past, always too slowly, a valueless and superfluous material, of which we sought to rid ourselves as soon as possible … For us, history had stopped” (117).

“… that there still existed a just world our side our own, something and someone still pure and hole, not corrupt, not savage, extraneous to hatred and terror; something difficult to define, a remote possibility of good, but for which it was worth surviving” (121).

“But Lorenzo was a man; his humanity was pure and uncontaminated, he was outside this world of negation. Thanks to Lorenzo, I managed not to forget that I myself was a man” (122).

Journal #11: Chapter 11

“We spoke of our houses, of Strasbourg and Turin, of the books we had read, of what we had studied, of our mothers: how all mothers resemble each other! His mother too had scolded him for never knowing how much money he had in his pocket; his mother too would have been amazed if she had known that he had found his feet, that day by day he was finding his feet” (111).

I imagined what would have been like to be separated from my mother during the war. It would have been mentally very difficult for me to know all the suffering she would have been forced to go through because she is a very important person in my life. This chapter of the book reminded me that all the workers in Auschwitz had mothers. They had mothers who would have cared about them more than anybody in the world. How sad their mothers would have been if they saw their sons in Auschwitz? Also, it was ironic to realize that the SS men also had mothers.

"How all mothers resemble each other!” (111). I think all mothers have the same heart when they stand in front of their children. They all worry about their children and hope them to be healthy and happy. They often sacrifice themselves, hoping their children’s success in life. In Korea, there is an old saying (I don’t know if there is one in English) that says “women are weak but mothers are strong.” When women become mothers, they often consider their children to be more important that themselves. Mothers’ love never changes even when the children become older. And I think their love is so wonderful and beautiful : )