Journal #5: Chapter 5

Alberto, Primo Levi’s best friend, was an intelligent, friendly and righteous man. Even in Auschwitz, he remained to be uncorrupted. He fought for his own life, but at the same time, according to Primo Levi, Alberto was everybody’s friend.

Is being everybody’s friend possible? I used to think that it is possible. But now I don’t think so. Honestly, I used to want to be like Alberto. I wanted to be always nice to everybody and I hoped everyone would like me, too. So I tried to become that kind of person for a while. However, I soon realized that it is impossible to accomplish. The more I tried to become “perfect” among people, the more I wasn’t sure of myself. I mean, it is really hard to always smile and be nice to others when I don’t feel well and when others do not agree with me.

So, I finally decided that I could no longer pretend to be Ms. Perfect. I can’t pretend to be someone who is not me. If my words and actions are not from my sincere heart, they are meaningless and useless. I shouldn’t worry about how others would think of me. The more important thing is how I feel about myself and how God thinks of me. When building relationships with others, now I think the most important thing is to understand God’s will. I believe that I first need to be honest with myself and with God in order to have true relationships with others.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

Memorable Quote:
“He fights for his life but still remains everybody’s friend. He ‘knows’ whom to corrupt, whom to avoid, whose compassion to arouse, whom to resist. Yet he himself did not become corrupt. I always saw, and still see in him, the rare figure of the strong yet peace-loving man against whom the weapons of night are blunted” (57).